Tributes come in many ways, but this week, as I write the Bull, my tribute goes to the number one man in my life, my father. Many of you have read about him, whether you like it or not over the past 15 years, as he is the man who drove me, guided me, and made me a “newspaper man.”
Notice I said “newspaper man,” not a journalist, because I’ll never consider myself a journalist, but rather a storyteller, a follower of other’s lives, not my own, much as my father was a storyteller, and definitely a follower of other’s lives.
This Saturday marks a milestone in my relationship with my dad. He passed away July 6, 1994...30 years ago, and even though I have a few months to go until I turn the clock on another decade of life, soon to be my sixth decade in late September, I’ve found myself in the midst of another chapter in life that on one hand is tough to soak in, but on the other hand is the way life goes.
So bear with me, as I can now divide my life into two parts...when dad was alive, and when he wasn’t!
They always say that when you lose someone that means the world to you, a parent, a sibling or someone that molded you to be the person that you have become, to say that Doug Duncan, the original Bull column “storyteller,” was the strongest “molder” of my life would be an understatement.
Saturday will be a day that I will cherish, relish, and enjoy a day of great memories, moments, and a few sad moments.
As I think back to his final days, and the days leading up to his passing from a short-term battle with cancer, the months after his diagnosis, and the condensed conversations just to make sure we got in all of our thoughts together was a true test of my personal and lasting impressions of my father.
His biggest weakness was saying no, which is definitely my biggest weakness. He detested people who took advantage of his family, his employees, and he’d stand up to those who did, but he still had a hard time telling people NO. He was selfless, but that came from his parents and his upbringing which he saw and felt what hard times were like, as did many of his era.
He loved my mother and us kids to no end, and if you messed with his family, the mild-mannered man that he was, he’d turn into a grizzly bear and you wouldn’t defeat him. Thankfully that was very rare, but I did see it happen a couple of times.
When it came to his newspapering and printshop life, his work ethic was like no other. He’d pull 16-hour days, make time to watch his kids in school activities, and then go back to work in an effort to keep up.
I caught that “keeping up disease” from my dad...to a fault, as I have an awful hard time saying no, and there are times that I can put a 16-hour day in as well.
So as I reflect on the “dividing life in two parts...30 for 30” direction in life that I lead, it is because of Doug Duncan and his forever drive to support and drive to provide for his family.
If dad were here for me to interview, as I write this Bull this past Sunday night, he’d never have brought up the fact that he did it for anyone other than his family. It was never about him.
We never traveled for a family vacation for more than five days. We left on a Wednesday after the papers were dropped off at the post office, and were home on a Sunday, which usually meant a trip to the Black Hills, maybe Omaha, and once in a great while to Kansas City. We didn’t “see the world,” because in the end, he and mom both knew that when they got home, a build-up of work and chasing kids’ activities would take over their world.
So this Saturday, as I prepare for an upcoming eight-day trip with some friends, very “un-Duncan like,” dad’s many memories, his heart, and his personality will be a strong part of what he shared with me during my first 30 years of life, and what his ongoing memory for the past 30 years, after his passing will be, not only for me, but my sisters, and the Duncan clan.
He was special to me, he was special to many, but if asked that question in an interview, he’d look at me and just say... “there is nothing special about me, and what I’ve done in life,” because the only thing that mattered to my dad, Doug Duncan, “the original bull” is what mattered to him the most...honesty, integrity, honoring those that he loved, which included those who supported him and his family outside of his family, such as subscribers of the Shelton Clipper and the Gibbon Reporter, but above all, those that lived life the way that they chose to live life, as long as it is what you stood for, and who you were!
